HerStory

Background

Beth was the first child of a teenage mother, a hot blond who loved to tan and dug holes for her big belly in the sand. The thundering pound of the Pacific Ocean stuck forever in Beth’s psyche. Like her mother, Beth spent most of her childhood in foster care but unlike her mother has had the resources and time, and access to birth control to spend her adulthood healing, determined to end the cycle.

When Beth was three years old, she and her mother disappeared for five months. When they returned to the family, it was reported that Beth was so emaciated she had a hard time walking. What happened during that time was well documented and sealed in court records that Beth would reclaim as an adult. They detailed severe physical and sexual abuse, amounting to torture by her mother’s boyfriend. After escaping and returning to the family, Beth’s mother abandoned her and went on to live and raise a family with that boyfriend.

Beth’s biological father also abandoned her and raised children with a woman who mistreated her during parental reunification visitation efforts.

For a long time, Beth thought she was the common denominator. She was not.

From three to six- or seven-years old Beth lived with extended family. One day, while her aunt or uncle yelled and smashed inside at one of her cousins, she stood outside on the sidewalk. Under a great tall palm tree that seemed to go up forever she would look up and up and think something like, “it can’t be like this everywhere; there is something else.” It was her Belle at the fountain with the blue birds and her book singing, “there must be more than this provincial life” moment.

She was removed by child welfare from that home and was moved many times to many places until she landed back in her place of birth, with a trusted aunt, in the mountains of Santa Cruz, CA. She would grow taller under the protection of the redwoods, in their magical mossy forests, full of slugs and a soft ground she would lay her cheek on for a while. After one failed adoption attempt, at nine years old Beth settled into a stable but emotionally abusive foster family, the youngest of six girls. It felt like a different kind of torture, with body shaming and all you could eat tater-tot casserole.

Court-ordered weekend reprieves with a maternal aunt, a couple of weeks at an overnight summer camp just for foster kids, and school got Beth through that time. She always loved to learn and graduated high-school with a 4.0, six college credits and a full-time job at a diner. She went straight to Chico State University where she earned her bachelors in psychology in four years. Later she would go on the get her masters in public administration at Boise State University, where she focused on studying the foster care system.

Healing

It was on a college backpacking trip that Beth began to feel that something she’d known existed but had been unable to see all those years ago. Soon after college she took a job on the East Coast to work in outdoor education with teens, canoeing through the Florida Everglades, backpacking the Smokey Mountains of North Carolina and portaging across the large lake system of central Maine. She experienced peace in these places and it would create in her a lasting and saving bond to nature.

In her late 20’s Beth settled in Burlington Vermont where she found her cats, storytelling and stand-up comedy. Stand-up comedy and storytelling would be a foundational for Beth to begin to reconnect with the human experience, process and integrate her stories and to feel like a valued member of society.

In her early 30’s she followed a boyfriend to Idaho, it was her “Belle goes to live in a haunted castle with a prince,” moment, except she was also the Beast. She struggled with the move and the loss of community and was unable to trust her very trustworthy prince. With his support she began working with a childhood trauma specialist who diagnosed her with PTSD and suggested she get a copy of her court records. Together they processed the horrific events documented there through EMDR. This was a critical part of her healing journey she would not have had the resources to afford on her own.

Many more years of chronic unemployment and failed relationships would follow alongside the pursuit of all things healing: backpacking and trail work in the backcountry, stand-up comedy and storytelling, writing and medications retreats. As her process deepened and information became more available, Beth discovered that she has complex-PTSD, a diagnosis not currently recognized in the United States. It made all relationships feel impossible. Healing was a long, slow, painful process but little by little, mostly through failure, Beth learned and found a stable place in community and friendship.

Now

Beth continues to perform, write, heal, and advocate. She is vocal supporter of equity through transportation access and is a key member advocating for better access to a mixed-modal approach. In March 2025, Beth debuted a reading of her first play titled, “The Intersection,” a short comedic sketch that aims to draw the connection between our mode of transportation and state of mind. She is active on multiple working committees and the IDHW Child Welfare advisory board, working to improve the foster care system in Idaho. She is the host and curator of Story Story Late Night where she crafts and delivers her stories live and coach’s member of the community to do the same. She still performs comedy once in a while to keep the muscles alive (see shows tab) and is working on her first book of personal essays titled, “Dear Mary, love letters to my mother.” She welcomes opportunities to speak to survivors and other public servants working to improve our public systems.